Brett and his harem

Dearest fans,

Finally we have our next instalment of this riveting blog (according to us).

This chapter of the trip involved the introduction of Kassie ¨the chunderer from down under¨ Alford and (Mum) Michelle ¨the GPS¨ Herskope.

After another decent bout of food poisining for Brett after a fun 16 hour bus ride from Nasca-Cusco (sensing a little theme going on here?) Gis and Brett were ready for the arrival of their guests.

As all the locals do waiting for the guests at the airport Giselle devised a sign with the name of our first guest to hold above her head. This was to help Kass distinguish her from the other dark hair, skin and eyed Peruvian taxi drivers. Kass struggled to see Gis´ blonde hair but did see her sign ¨Ms Señorita Alford¨ and after a quick emotional embrace was welcomed to Cusco! A set meal, coca tea and altitude head-ache later our next arrival was imminent and a similar gag was elicited at the airport.

Brett hence had assembled his harem of women and we were ready to begin trekking to Macchu Pichu via the famous Salkantay trek!

A bit of fun was to be had in the days before the trek to give Brett´s new harem some time to acclimatise and we completed a Peruvian cooking course making delicious Aji de Gallina and Pisco Sour (which Mum then developed an addiction to). A chocolate making course was next on the proverbial ¨menu¨ which entailed creating chocolate from the cacao bean all the way through to the real deal. Of course Brett´s harem thoroughly enjoyed the tasty delights and although Brett pretends not to love treats he was spotted hoeing in to his freshly made choccy.

Enter the Salkantay trek. A ¨gruelling¨ 5 day trek to Macchu Pichu. Guide, horseman and chef assembled, we started off with a nice 4.30am wake up and a mini van ride where sleep was planned and not achieved to Mollepampa. From here we were notified that there has been a land slide on part of the trek so we would need to ride in the back of a truck ¨much like cattle¨ to another starting point. Encountering more difficulties was a brilliant introduction to South America for Mum and Kass as we had to evacuate the truck as it slipped and slid across a dodgy pass and reversed down a hill to let another bigger (and hence assuming right of way down the single lane dirt road) truck.

Finally to begin the trek, wait, first we rushed to spray on repellent as attack of the sand flies was commencing. Ok. Listo (ready in spanish) which then became Kassie Listo (as 'casi listo' means almost ready which was the story of the trek!). As we were engulfed by nature everybody warmed to what would be a beautiful trek. Valley views, lush foliage and fresh mountainous air was being absorbed and was only a taste test for what would become a truly scenic experience.

Campsite 1: With an amazing view of snow-capped Humantay and Salkantay mountains we were spoilt to a 3 course lunch, tea, treats and an under cover campsite (really tough camping!) We then trekked up a steep hill to the base of Humantay and were treated to a gorgeous turqouise glacial lagoon where like 2 peas from the same pod Brett and Michelle could not help themselves and had to have a dip in to the freezing water.

Day two was a spectactular but also spectacularly difficult climb up to the Salkantay pass, the highest point of the trek at 4640m. Michelle ¨the GPS¨ as always had her Garmin watch on and corrected this to a height 4629m. It is very important to be accurate and be able to graph it on her computer! Celebratory high fives and photos were had as we then carried on with the descent onwards. Straight away the scenery changed and things became much greener, the temperature increased and snow capped mountains became a distant memory. Another 4 course lunch was had in our lunch tent (really roughing it) and we then entered a newer phase of the trek. Jungle, which meant heat,  stripping off, sweating but still loving life we arrived at our next camp site just as dusk was falling. Perfect timing.

Day three held a new challenge for one of Brett´s harem, the chunderer from down under attained her nickname and spent the whole day chundering and marking her territory. With a brave face and a top attitude she valiantly strode on and almost as if sympathetically Giselle joined her, at least in her marking of territory. Luckily symptoms wore off and all were able to enjoy the brilliant hot springs in Santa Teresa that evening. At least the sickness was had beneath tumbling water falls, rushing rivers and sensational weather. Tragedy did strike however as Mum´s GPS ran out of battery and she couldn´t track 5km, no was it 6km, (oh so hard to know without the watch) of the trek.

Day four was the longest day, however was the most rewarding as we would arrive in Aguas Calientes (the village beneath Macchu Pichu) to a hotel and not a tent! Again the scenery changed vastly and we were witness to rolling green mountains, banana trees and beautifully coloured flora as we traversed next to the train tracks from the hydro-electric plant to a hot shower in the hotel. A little tease for the following days show piece was had as we trekked passed the back side of Macchu Pichu and saw some of the famous ruins in the distance.

Day five saw a 5.15am bus up to Macchu Pichu, excitement was building, a lovely sun had rised (earlier than the GPS had promised) and we stepped in to the show piece of Peru. Macchu Pichu. Getting there within the first few buses ensured an amazing half an hour of the incan ruins to ourselves. Postcard photos were taken, big smiles on all faces as we were guided around the ruins in awe of the sheer size and beauty of them. After we farewelled our guide we made the pilgrimage to the top of Huayna Pichu. A difficult one hour climb to the mountain at the back of the ruins which afforded marvellous views of Macchu Pichu and its surrounds. Without giving to much away, territory was marked on Huayna Pichu. A very funny event.

A train ride back to Cusco wasn´t without hilarity as Mum fell asleep and the bouncing of the train ensured that her cup of tea, unfinished, ended up all over her.

No rest for the wicked as we were up early the next morning to head to Puno on Lake Titicaca.

Puno, Peru doesnt really require much of a mention so we shall press on...

Our little putt-putt tour boat took us from the shores of Puno into the great lake that is Titi"HAHA" thankyou very much (not to be said TitiCACA cause that`s just plain incorrect!). First stop was the touristy and reedy Isla Flotantes. The island made solely out of layers and layers of think grass reeds did not fall short in amazing us and we were quickly met by the friendly locals for a cheeky taste of grass reed (not the type of grass you might be thinking, we mean the legitimate reeds!). From there we putt-putted over to our place of residence for the night, Isla Amantani. Treated to our own special homestay with Peruvian mother (so, this should freak out Luis, Tim and Base - it was the SAME FAMILY from the last time Brett was in South America, whaaaaat!), we were spoilt with a 3 course lunch on arrival. A quick steep trek up to the peak of the island afforded us wonderous views of Lake Titicaca, including shiny waters all the way to Bolivia. A second 3 course meal but this time for dinner, and then it was time to get suited up local-style! Now we know youve seen the photos on facebook with us girls in our pretty skirts and blouses, matched perfectly with our jeans and runners peaking out the bottom. Lets just get something clear...it was really freaking cold at night. Brett in his manly Peruvian poncho and his harem ready to take on the locals, we set off to a local dance. Lots of holding hands and dancing around in a circle with the local band and old ladies was a total treat.

Following our night in Isla Amantani we again putt-putted our way to nearby Isla Taquile for a quick peak at how the locals did things there and then were again on our putt-putty way back to Puno. Needless to say in true South American style the boat broke down. More than once.

We farewelled Puno and in turn said goodbye to Peru as we bussed our little hinies into La Paz, Bolivia. As if by initiation into the joy and chaos that is Bolivia the bus was not only late to pick us up in the morning, but also took almost 3 hours longer than supposed to. It was important for Kass and Michelle to fully understand these sorts of days. There were highs and lows, there were `delicious` plain crackers and probably a few empanadas.

La Paz showed us a good time with our first full day there being spent completing the WORLDS MOST DANGEROUS BIKE RIDE a few hours outside of the city. For those of you unaware of what this road is, we suggest you google "Worlds most dangerous bike ride" and then you will understand how bad ass it is! 64km (ok, incorrect according the "the GPS" however it was the number of km`s quoted on all the tour agency posters, we wonder who is more accurate?) of downhill road on bmx bikes, fully kitted out with fluro vests and all we hooned (ok, Giselle didnt necessarily hoon but it was really scary alright!) our way down to the finish line. Picture gravel road, as narrow as 3 metres in some points, SHEER SHEER cliff fall to one side and crumbly mountain to the other, waterfalls flowing freely into any oncomers face, heavy rain downpour followed by burn-your-face-off sun, crazy fellow cyclists NOT using the courteous "passing on your right" comment, and pebbles as big as your face...and that about sums up the journey down. We were gratefully spoilt with hot showers and all-you-can-eat lunch at our end point, a lovely animal sanctuary equipped with monkeys and all.

We managed to squeeze in a `rest day` full of shopping and leather jacket buying ($60.00 for custom made, yep it was that cheap!) before jumping on Kass and Michelle`s first "overnight bus" experience of splendor and comfort to Uyuni (the great home of the Salt Flats). Given we spent the night bouncing around head butting each other and attempting to sleep at the same time we were feeling a little less than well rested, you could say. A quick one-two-throw-up-on-your-shoes and the "Chunderer" was back on the tummy-bug band wagon. Luckily it was an isolated event this time and our dear Kass again soldiered on through the day. We piled into our 4WD and began making our way into the mysterious and magnificant Salar de Uyuni. First stop an old train graveyard, showcasing a series of old trains dumped in the middle of the desert. For those of you who are Nick Cage fans, think the deserty airport in "Con Air" - "I told you to put the bunny back in the box!". Onwards to the only Salt Hotel found in the actual salt flats and we respecting resisted the urge to lick the walls. And table. And window sills. And chairs. Seriously they were all made of salt.

Our next stop was the middle of friggin nowhere for the famous "Perspective shots". You`ll just have to come over and visit us when we return to see how hilarious and clever we are. We moved onto another area in the middle of friggin nowhere which was actually a cactus island in the middle of friggin nowhere. This was of course followed by the most ridiculously spectacular sunset we`d ever seen.

Our second day in this other worldy experience, included places like, a dead lake, fields of petrified coral rocks, huge lava-tube rocks, a lake with an outrageous number of flamengoes, and to end the day - the strange and cool red lake, also equipped with an outrageous number of flamengoes. Needless to say when we lay our heads down to sleep that night, we were all left wondering "where the bloody hell are we!".

The final day provided us with again magnificent views of a different lake, this one famously green normally, just not when we were there unfortunately. A quick six hour drive back to town and our tour was finished. Phew, it certainly was a place to be remembered!

We tentatively boarded the small plane which appeared slightly questionable, which turned out to actually be super safe and fine and quickly found ourselves back in the `normality` of La Paz. It was but a quick turnover as we squeezed into a local colectivo bus (furthering Michelle and Kass`s authentic experience in South America) and bounced our way to the pretty and quaint Coroico.

A few days in what seemed a 4 star resort (for next to nothing in cost $15 a night) to recharge the batteries and poor Michelle was finally able to put up her feet after a mad 3 weeks scouring the moutains in Peru and Bolivia.

Sunday the 4th of November we devastatingly bid farewell to our dear Michelle as she boarded a plane back to good old Oz. It was a sad day to say the least, but we certainly have some crazy, funny and joyous memories, so a huge thanks to "The GPS" for joining us on this spectacular adventure. We miss you!

As if in sympathy, we decided our next stop would be the beautiful beaches on north coast of CHILE.

We arrived in Arica with altitude ready lungs and the higher concentration of oxygen was easily recognisable as simple sets of stairs no longer took our breath away! Lying on the beach next to the desert was the order of the day. As was Chilean wine and getting a crook guts again. This time Brett and Gis. So while we hung out and waited for the next bug to pass Kass went to a surfing lesson. This surfing lesson was with a man named YoYo. A very credible surf teachers name. He began with presurf yoga, an aloe vera face massage and some outlandish stories about surf rescues and the like. Lunch involved YoYo alone getting stoned, post lunch yoga and some more ripping surf. Kass managed to ride 2 waves with Kelly Slater like style and speed. Rumour is she got barreled and pulled some wicked top turns.

The next incident started out of thin air. All of a sudden Brett complained of a sore back. Pretty standard that Brett has a niggling injury so neither he nor the remainder of his harem took much notice.

Cue horrific bus ride. Brett´s back pain continued to advance and a 4hr bus ride to our next destination Iquique. This included Brett passing in and out of pain induced consciousness as Gis and Kass sipped on complimentary coca cola poured in plastic cups by the ticket inspector. Very odd, but refreshing.

Iquique consisted of much of the same. Beach, coffee, good food and even better vibes. Except for Brett who was slowly leaving the earth in pain. Until Brett couldn´t stand up without needing to lie down or he would faint did we decide to go hospital (and on the advice of the worriers back in Melbourne).A diagnosis of a long standing intestinal infection led to heavy pain killers, heavier antibiotics and Giselle playing physio/nurse/girlfriend/personal carer/masseuse etc etc did Brett slowly but recover from his altered consciousness and become human again! He had serious man flu.

A final coffee and beach session (a Kass specialty) saw us see her off in style and she departed back to Australia leaving Brett´s harem in complete tatters. We miss you too Kass!

Status quo has been regained. Brett and Gis are back on the road! Next stop Caldera.

Peace and Love!